Have you ever been told to, “Be careful for what you wish for, because you just might get it?” If you are like me, you probably have and also used to answer that statement with a sarcastic, “Yeah, right.” Challenges when your dreams come true? Yeah, right. But this weekend was my reminder once again there is more truth behind that line that you might think.
When I was young, I wished for the chance to travel the world. When I started my career, I wished for the energy and discipline to be an inspire others through fitness. What I didn’t wish for were the challenges I have experienced since those wishes came true.
Travel the world? Check! The last two months have involved the most demanding travel schedule I have ever attempted: Slovenia, Croatia, Scotland, Germany, Seattle, Chicago, Charlotte, Providence and Los Angeles. Inspire others through fitness? Check! Over these last 8 weeks alone I have presented live for over 80 hours and 5,000 people!
I am not proud to say I missed some things this summer with my kids. From a couple track meets to school plays and family events, it hurt to be away. I have learned the most difficult part of travel is not sitting delayed in an airport or having a lousy hotel bed. The biggest obstacle is walking out the door when your children are crying knowing you will miss something important to them.
There are some important things you just can’t miss. When I found out my schedule demanded that I would not be home for my daughter Keira’s 7th birthday, I had to do something. My first idea was to bring her to California with me. But my second idea is the theme for this blog: Instead of just bringing Keira, I decided to INVOLVE my entire family.
INVOLVEMENT is critical in relationships. You might think that is easy to understand, but I can say there was a period when my wife and kids weren’t INVOLVED in “my things.” I would be off focused on doing my things and they would be doing theirs. I don’t know when it exactly started, but this lack of INVOLVEMENT only created distance and tension between us.
My wife Amanda became disenchanted with fitness. And that led to her being disenchanted with me and my mission. It pushed us to opposite ends of the house and had us leading separate lives. I was stubborn. I was resentful. I waited for her to make the first move. I knew something was wrong, but instead of addressing the problem, I burying myself further in my work. My professional wishes were coming true at the expense of my personal life. I didn’t INVOLVE her, I built a wall. But then I built something that saved us. I built Training for Warriors with her directly INVOLVED. By INVOLVING her in what I do and with Training for Warriors, she and I made tremendous changes. And it wasn’t the chin up training that started the process. The start was by getting her INVOLVED in what I did.
In Long Beach this weekend, I got to present with my family in front of over 500 coaches and trainers. By having them INVOLVED in the event, I was afraid I would be distracted. Instead I found myself more energized. Both my family and the attendees got more deeply INVOLVED in my life. By INVOLVING them, I became stronger.
Speaking of stronger, at the keynote address, the presenter asked for a volunteer. Amanda, to my surprise, raised her hand. Then the presenter challenged her to bend a frying pan in half! She nervously got up there and as I feared, she couldn’t do it at first. Maybe the UNINVOLVED Amanda would have given up. But instead she got the crowd INVOLVED in the event and made the impossible possible. The cheering crowd and I weren’t the only ones proud of her. My kids were so pumped they carried the bent pan around like a trophy showing everyone they met.
Here is a video of her bending the pan:
Are there some people you need to get more INVOLVED in your life?
Are there things with which you would like your family to INVOLVE you?
Want more INVOLVEMENT? Here are a few things you can do.
6 TIPS TO INVOLVE THE PEOPLE CLOSEST TO YOU
- Take your wife or kids to your work, and tour them.
- When your family asks what you do, explain to them.
- When you ask what your family likes to do, listen to them.
- Don’t keep your hobbies to yourself, share them.
- If you see or read something cool, show them.
- If you are going to build something, co-create it with them.
Skip this list and you might start leading a separate life too. INVOLVEMENT is a two-way street. When you INVOLVE others, you win.
Want to get INVOLVED in TFW? Then check out one of my final 2015 Certifications here:
- Helsinki, Finland – Aug. 22-23, 2015 (5 spots left)
- Costa Mesa, CA – Sept. 12-13, 2015 (9 spots left)
- Dover, NH – Sept. 26-27, 2015 (14 spots left)
- Morristown, NJ – Oct. 3-4, 2015 (8 spots left)
- Sydney, Australia – Nov. 7-8, 2015 (15 spots left)
- Level 1 Online Certification – (Registration Open – Course Starts Aug. 24th)
You can also find out more about our 240 TFW affiliates at www.jointfw.com
For a time I was on an island. Now I am not alone.
For a time, I was resenting for my work. Now they understand what I do.
All the cool things this weekend would never have happened if I didn’t INVOLVE my family in what I do. Want to be more INVOLVED? Be big open enough to share and it will happen.
If I can do it, you can do it. Get INVOLVED. If you aren’t on the same page, beware your story might not turn out to be that great of a book.